ICC Standard Backyard Cricket Rules

[Short Leg]

A few of you bloke might have seen this but it's good for a laugh. The standard backyard cricket rules.

General Rules

1A)Can't Get Out First Ball : Curious rule introduced to give the token unco ******* a reprieve. Smart-arse batsmen use it to hone their reverse sweep - which becomes interesting when smart-arse bowlers use it to hone their beamer.

1B)Caught Behind : Since no-one has the desire or the reflexes to stand in the slips cordon, an edge onto the back fence constitutes instant dismissal. Has signalled the death of the late cut.

1C)One Hand, One Bounce : This popular innovation (When a fielder can dismiss a batsman by catching the ball in one hand on the first bounce)is essential to the very fabric of the sport. Importantly, it means a game can be organised with a minimum of players. More importantly, it means you don't have to put your beer down.

1D)No LBW : When no umpires are available (or trustworthy), the only option is to can the LBW rule altogether, ensuring cagey batsmen shuffle across the crease as if test driving a Zimmer frame.

1E)Six And Out (Then Fetch It) : Introduced to combat space and energy restrictions. It's rumoured to have been initiated by a hapless bowler living alongside a pack of Rottweilers.

ESSENTIAL ITEMS -

2A)Esky : Strategically placed at the bowler's end, the esky is the shrine, the fuel, the Richie Benaud of backyard cricket - because it holds the beer.

2B)Balls : A minimum of 3 tennis balls is advised, as there's always some pissed smart-arse who delights in tonking them over the fence. Advanced exponents use electrical tape around half the ball to give it more swing than Austin Powers.

2C)Dog : Preferable of Kelpie or Heeler extraction, so it can field every ball, including those that dissapear under the house or thorny bushes. The downside is that they produce more slobber than a 14 year old male Penthouse reader. The upside is the dog will sleep for 3 days straight afterwards.

2D)Rubbish Bin : It would be nice to think you can clean up your own mess, but in reality the bin makes a perfect set of stumps.

2E)Bat : Boasting multiple scratches and dents, and no grip left on the handle, it's usually of 1980's vintage, with a fake signature of Allan Border or Merv Hughes providing added backyard cult status.

CODE OF ETHICS -

3A)Stumps : The game draws to a close when,
i) your pissed host finally cooks the snags after the barbie has run out of gas,
ii) Macca hits the last ball onto the road and it dissapears down the drain, or
iii) your girlfriend cracks the shits and wants to go home because you "become a *******" when you hang around with your mates.

3B)Flower Damage : Any respectful male will cringe and help hide the fact that you have just topped your girlfriend's petunias. Somehow, the universal threat of a week-long drought bonds the male species.

3C)Spilt Beer : Ideally, the offending batsman should apologise profusely and offer to replace the vanquished stubbie. Fat Chance. The feat prompts shitloads of laughter, and the usually triumphant "Get me one while you're at it!"

[i]3D)No Running Between Wickets : Every backyard cricket specialist should know this phrase, "The words fun and run don't go together." Just ask Arjuna Ranatunga. Besides, how the f#$ck are you supposed to run in thongs?

3E)Courtesy Call : Always invite the chicks to have a bat. They usually say no, but on the odd occasion, they do take a grip of the willow. You can bowl a couple of dollies to her so she can hit before ending this freakish sideshow with a yorker. Most chicks hold a bat as if they're chopping wood. And they can't handle yorkers.

Anyway the point of this was for you blokes to say what rules you play in backyard cricket that are different to others and what rules are most used.

[Adarsh]

Yoy play backyard cricket in thongs !!! Just kidding, I know what you mean.

[sohum]

Heh, mine pretty much matches yours. Except, substitute room for backyard and you get even more excitment, and only need like 3 players.

[newzolt]

nice one.

[hondeyho]

- I may try it soon, if I can be bothered

[embi]

Haha, we used to use some of those rules. The not-out first ball one wass a classic.

One note, shouldn't this be in the Humour forum?

[angryangy]

No, this is official. In fact, this should be stickied.

I'm impressed, but I think they missed out one more common rule: no pace or spin to chicks.

Also stumps is usually called when someone breaks a window.

[irottev]

LOL. thats pretty much how I play. I might try taping up half the ball, usually I tape the whole thing. it does increase the risk of broken windows though.

[embi]

Another common rule is that you can catch someone off a wall

[Short Leg]

Yeah taping half the ball is a good rule for the backyard cricket veterans. Tickles a bit when your mates test out its hardness with some chin music to.

[ZoraxDoom]

I use most of them - First ball is always a trial ball, one tip one hand, runnings runs only rarely. But I play in my building so a pair of slippers are used to mark the stumps (with 2 tiles of height). No LBWs, no caught behinds (Unless we keep a keeper, a recent revolution). Of course the rest aren't there...

[Cricket_60]

Another good rule which I use- Beamers are legal

[skater]

Over the past year I have invented a whole new type of cricket that is handy to play at a local recreation ground with your Dad on a weekend.
Here's the rules that we follow.

"One On One" Cricket
RULES

1). The equipment required to play a "One On One" cricket match is four stumps following official match regulations, one match standard cricket bat, one pair of protective batting gloves and a cricket ball.

2). 'Runs' are not taken into account in deciding the result of the match match. The winner is the player who takes the wicket of the other player in a fewer number of legally bowled balls. However, the batsman may run between the wickets but only when the other player has picked up the ball from where it was hit. This will encourage direct hitting of the stumps and quick running. Overthrows are forbidden.

3). The batsman can be out in the ways listed below.

1. Bowled Out
2. Caught Out
3. Run Out
4. Hitting the ball twice
5. Handling the ball

4). Each batsman plays one innings.

5). During each match, the scorecard below is filled.

[angryangy]

Originally Posted by Cricket_60

Another good rule which I use- Beamers are legal

Interesting... I've been on the end of a beamer that went through the offending bowler's window.

Beamers are fine, so long as you adequately equiped to deal with them.

[dtrain]

Ah, very good. There is also another rule which my mates and I use call Double Bounce Kick Up. What happens, is that similarly to One Bounce One Hand, the catch has to be made one hand, but the ball must come of your foot before the third bounce. It sparks an interesting debate about whether it should be allowed to come off a fieldsmans foot and another fieldsman makes the catch. Also, a great rule whilst drinking, brings about some comical attempts and desperate leg extensions trying to get batsmen out.